What is the Ego? The ego is a self-generated identity, consisting of every belief we believe about who
and what we are. This includes our personality, our talents and our likes/dislikes. The ego is what keeps
us locked away in our minds in an endless cycle of chatter, separated from the present moment. It is
the identity created and reinforced by the story we tell ourselves. Our stories are however just that
stories. They do not make up who we are.
Eckhart Tolle says, “The most common ego identifications have to do with possessions, the work you
do, social status and recognition, knowledge and education, physical appearance, special abilities,
relationships, personal and family history, belief systems and often nationalistic, racial religious and
other collective identifications.
None of these are you. While the ego is an aspect of the human condition, it is not the true essence of
who we are. When we operate from ego, we are generally obsessed with right and wrong,… blame and
shame. We are not acting from a loving place, but a judgmental place. We are not acting from a place
of, “How can I serve” or ” How can I give”, rather, “What do I get” and “How do I look?”
Learning to identify the traits and behaviors of the ego… and then working to consciously make a
different choice will drastically change your life.
Here are 3 tips on managing your ego to create a more peaceful loving life.
Stop taking things personally. The ego loves to get offended. It loves to feel wounded and it thrives on
pain and conflict. When we choose to be offended over things, we are actively choosing to allow the
ego to take hold of our lives and create pain. In order to disassociate from this decision and make a
different choice we must recognize that love is our natural state. Humans actually want to connect and
feel joy, not misery. If someone does or says something that makes you feel any negative emotion, you
have two choices. You can react and engage in conflict or you can recognize that the trigger within
you is our opportunity for your own growth. You can choose to recognize that anything negative said or
done from another, is likely a projection of their own ego. Don’t waste your energy on ego battles, save
it for love and service.
The ego loves being right. It sustains itself in this way. The problem is it also keeps you from doing
what you need to do to move closer to love and truth. The ego is sort of like a weed in this way. It may
have pretty flowers for your inner garden but if left unattended it will choke out all of your other plants
and leave you in a big mess. When you forgive, you allow your heart to open and you separate from
the need to be right and instead choose love. This is functioning from your true self. Forgive others and
forgive yourself too.
Let go and observe
Let go of trying to be right, trying to win, trying to be seen, trying to be heard. Instead, observe. The ego
wants to prove itself and jump up and down to gain love and validation. Our higher self doesn’t need
validation. Our higher self knows that it is love, by becoming aware of the ego and its need to be seen,
heard and acknowledged you open up space to be seen and heard without expectation. You then see
things as they are. You see people as they are rather than through a projected sense of lack, because
they are not matching up to your ego’s demands. In this space there is also an opportunity to sit back
and observe as to who or who is not functioning from a place where they can offer themselves up
emotionally to give love, acceptance, and adoration to you. This means we let go of controlling people
in an attempt to have our needs met. This is freedom. Eckhart Tolle said, ” The moment you become
aware of the ego in you, it is strictly no longer the ego, but just an old conditioned mind pattern. Ego
implies unawareness. Awareness and ego cannot coexist.” There is no denying that the ego serves its
purpose. But when the ego becomes the dominant process of your mind you fall out of alignment with
your true self. With practice you can learn how to manage your ego better and create a life that feels
more peaceful, loving and authentic. As Ghandi said, “When the ego dies. The soul awakens.”
Let your ego die a little more each day. So your own soul can awaken and grow. So your freedom and
joy can grow. So your peace can come forward. Bless your life by letting go of your ego.